Q: I'm afraid I don't have the asking price. However, I'm willing to trade you some WW2 memorabilia. The items in question are 100 Dead Nazi Scalps taken from the head of 100 Dead Nazis. These scalps are certified authentic from Lt. Aldo Raine himself! Aug-25-10
A: Sorry I only collect Nazi Underpants. Go to Springfield , there is a one armed man who can get them for you.
Q: Hi there,i'm interested in your item but want to save a few dollars on shipping.Could you please send it first class mail international(no tracking)& if it turns up,i can still say i haven't received it therefore i can file a paypal dispute,win & get my money back & still keep your item for free? Please let me know ASAP! Aug-25-10
A: This is just silly. I mean who could possibly think that this scenario could happen? I mean people are honest and I would have proof I sent it. Ebay would use common sense and figure this out with no problem. They are a world class orginazation with talented staff who could......no Im kidding. Course you can!
Q: When you are done selling this item, will you write a paper on why the Mets suck? I NEED the answer! Thanks! Aug-24-10
A: The team is located in FLUSHing. Need I say more? Actually I guess I finished my paper on the Mets! Everyone who read this, you all owe me $1,000,000. Please paypal me. Use the gift method so Ebay..er Paypal doesn't collect fees. Honor system everyone so do the right thing and pay up.
Q: Watch it smart guy. Watch it! You keep this act up and it will be 20%. Aug-24-10
A: Crap you wrote the same thing twice! Now it's 40%
Q: Watch it smart gut. Watch it! You keep this act up and it will be 20%. Aug-24-10
A: I think Ebay is working with Hitler, Satan, Saddam and benny Hill to get our souls. 20% isnt my concern right now. (For those following my auction google "Godwins Law". Enjoy!
Q: Has this been stored in 100% archival material since it's creation, and handled with white cotton gloves to protect this valuable investment? Aug-24-10
A: I hired the Swiss Guard to protect this in a low oxygen envirnment. I think it's the Swiss Guard. He was wearing Finlandia bags as shoes. He also didnt speak with a Swiss accent and swore up and down. Now that I think about it he also spent 45 miuntes yelling at the Peanut Butter Sandwich I made him. I'll make other arrangements to protect it!
Q: I need to get a tombstone for my grandad who just past away so my funds are tied up with that. Have you got a HIN (Have It Now) and I'll pay u later? Aug-24-10
A: I've got a better idea. Just pay for it now and , once I send you a shipping confirmation, just open a dispute!!! Ebay will have their Final Value Fee so they don't care!! They'll just give you the refund and you get your money, the tombstone, and what critics are calling the greatest masterpiece to ever come out of house!
Q: Hi, do you also offer German examples? Tobi Aug-24-10
A: Funny you should ask! This is in German but I wrote in a TARDIS (go ahead, google it and come back). The perception filter is making it appear in English.
Q: Hi, is the cost of insurance included in the asking price? -x Aug-24-10
A: I tried to insure it but the USPS says it's like trying to insure a sunset, newborn baby, or Eric Roberts. Some things are not replacable.
Q: I prefer reading my paper and books while sitting on the family throne (aka the Toilet). Is the paper this is written on water and splatter proof against any possible backsplash or biological contamination? If not, is laminating available? I prefer to keep my reading material as clean as possible. And if I run out of toilet paper, will this make a suitable replacement in a pinch? Aug-24-10
A: First off, it's an honor to speak to royalty. I wish I had a throne. That would be cool. The paper should hold up fine. I mean I am writing about a company thats very name and attitude turn the words into extriment and the paper hasn't fallen apart yet so Im feeling okay about it. If I laminate it, you might not want to use it as Toilet paper. Just my advice.
Q: Can you declare a value of $20 on the customs form? Latveria is very expensive for customs duties. Our country is run by a cruel doctor. Aug-24-10
A: I spoke to Ben Grimm and he says no. Sorry.
Q: I think this is just a terrible auction. Can't you see that ebay is/has done everything in their power to suck on their own ? I think you stealing their thunder of sucking just sucks, and you should let ebay to continue to suck to previously unknown heights of suck-dom. Oh, I would like to pay in Canadian pennies, but I'll need a receipt in arabic since I'll be in the middle east by the time this reaches me. Taxes are just a bit*h this time of year.
A: Sucks you feel that way. I agree that it sucks that needing to suck suckiness from the all time suckmeisters does in fact suck. But in my defense my book sucks so can't Ebay be accused of promoting sucktastic literature? Huh?? Huh?? SUCK ON THAT!!! (In a nice, non porn way of course)
Q: Do you think you can get Meg Whitman to autograph this? Aug-24-10
A: I can sure try. Isnt she ruining something bigger nowadays?
Q: Does this book come in an audio version,I don't know how to read so well like most fools on ebay,so if it comes in audio I well pay twice the asking price for the paper version.Please send me an audio reply.Or you can call me on my shoe phone number 555-6969,Thanks Aug-24-10
A: If you win this auction, I will personally read it to you every night. I do impersonations as well, so I can do it as Hulk Hogan , Christopher Walken or various others. You didn't leave your area code so I will call every area code from 001 and go up until I find you!!
Q: I have always been under the impression that Ebay BLOWS. However, your accusation is that Ebay SUCKS. Would you care to elaborate on how you came to this conclusion? Aug-24-10
A: That is a very insightful question. As Spaceballs has shown us, you can both suck and blow.
Q: Why did you not answer my previous question>? Aug-24-10
A: Sorry for the delay. I had to get some sleep. Open a dispute for my taking a few hours to answer. Maybe Ebay can give you my kidney or something
Q: Will you autograph the book for my sickly grandfather Marvin? Aug-24-10
A: OMG what a coincidence!! I am selling this to pay for my sickly third cousin twice removed. I am also asking Ebayers selling gold coins to sell them to me for 50% of book value so give to him. He's is very very sick and this is all he wants before going to the next life
Q: So! Do you wanna sell the rare albino tigeress? I could use the milk. I can pay with conflict diamonds if you want! Just say the word and I will send Naomi around. Aug-24-10
A: That womans nuts. See if Grace Jones can do it and let me know
Q: I really want to bid, but I can only make a payment in pennies! Is this acceptable? If yes, do I need to deliver the pennies in person, or do you want to come pick them up? The payment will weigh a total of 5,585 lbs, but I think they will still fit into the trunk of my '87 Yugo! Please get back to me, so I can place a bid! Thanks! Aug-24-10
A: Of course it is! I accept payment through Pennypal!
Q: Is this a modern vintage original factory reseal or a custom original unproduced production proto type first shot rare variation in good condition? If you were to grade it, would it be a C9.5 or a C9.875+? Thanks! Aug-23-10
A: I am almost positive that It might possibly be 100% (give or take 5%) a geniune or reproduced item. I mean Im not an expert but look at it!
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