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 OT: Divorce

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A_new_hope
Imperial Lieutenant
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A_new_hope

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PostSubject: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeThu Oct 11, 2012 7:48 pm

Hi all! Just wanted to share that my wife wants a devorce and i had to move temporery to my mum becaus she wants space and live alone so she can find her self again. Im crushed. Dont know what to do, i has gon a week now and its the only thing i can think of. Barely eats, bad sleep and just feeling like shit. Any of you had experience of this and can give some advice how i can move on?
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aussiejames
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PostSubject: Re: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeThu Oct 11, 2012 8:17 pm

Sorry to hear Perra.
I'm not sure what to say so I'll try to distract you:
OT: Divorce Yellow_top_bouncing_boobs
OT: Divorce 1310634233228
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A_new_hope
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A_new_hope

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PostSubject: Re: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeThu Oct 11, 2012 8:40 pm

Thanks man!
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budspencer
Grand Moff
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budspencer

Posts : 759
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PostSubject: Re: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeThu Oct 11, 2012 10:11 pm

tell her:

" you can take the cat, the dog, the flowers, the house and the kids but you aint touching my star wars collection woman!"

Cheer up mate ..there are a lot of Slave Leia's waiting for a good scruffy looking nerf herder like you to show up. Smile
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OZIO
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OZIO

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PostSubject: Re: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeThu Oct 11, 2012 10:23 pm

Sorry to hear about it mate.
Try to keep your mind busy, that helps a bit when you feel like shit.

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A_new_hope
Imperial Lieutenant
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A_new_hope

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Join date : 2011-07-28
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PostSubject: Re: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeThu Oct 11, 2012 11:42 pm

Thanks for your support, appretiated! I started to sell of some SW things 2weeks ago, just to ease up the economy and reduce the arguments around money. Even sold the new car we bought in march. But it was apperantly to late any way. She could have said something before that i think.

Thanks and cheers


Last edited by A_new_hope on Fri Oct 12, 2012 1:06 am; edited 1 time in total
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arohk
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arohk

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PostSubject: Re: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeThu Oct 11, 2012 11:59 pm

sorry to hear the bad news bud hopefully things will work out for the better.
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Rawlin
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PostSubject: Re: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeFri Oct 12, 2012 7:15 am

Ouch, sorry to hear that.
Keep busy with whatever just doing something at all helps. Black adder is good to put on before sleep, remember I fell a sleep in the intro every time.
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PostSubject: Re: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeFri Oct 12, 2012 7:16 am

Really sorry to hear Perra. I've seen too many divorces and it's always sad. I can only say that if you want to get back together then fight for it, don't just give in. If collecting is an issue, then stop. Not worth your marriage.

If you need to get SW out of the house , I'm happy to help make arrangements to get it stored. A good man offered me that help when I was in a bad spot and I thought it was on of the nicest gestures.

Anyways we are here if you need anything , always feel free to drop a PM if you need a private conversation.

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Dr Dengar
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PostSubject: Re: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeFri Oct 12, 2012 10:59 am


Very sorry to hear this Perra!

Give each other some time and space, to think, talk, sort things out, and who knows to reconsider.

I wish the both of you all the best!

If you need anything, you know where to find us.



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The_Dark_Artist
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PostSubject: Re: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeFri Oct 12, 2012 2:20 pm

I truly believe that in situations as unfortunate as this, time is what you'll need to heal. Surround yourself by supportive friends and family because that is what will keep your head up and keep you moving forward. I'm sorry you are going through this. I know it may mean little, but know you are not alone and there are many out there in similar situations. Keep your head up : ) you'll get through this...
-Steve
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A_new_hope
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A_new_hope

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PostSubject: Re: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeFri Oct 12, 2012 7:48 pm

I am sinserly greatful for all of you all and your words. Its a fucked up situation and its a mental breakdown. One moment i feel i can do wathever she wants just to take me back and the next i can think that i would be nice to live alone, meet a new girl and have the kids in piece and harmony alone. The turbulence that have been at home the past time is not good for them either and it maybe will be good to get the best of bouth mum and dad but at separate times. We can go all in on the kids when we have them and dont be occupied with arguments and be on a bad mood most of the time when we are together at home. Caus that how it have looked like for a while now, the sudden decition to kick me out and take out a divorce without the sligtest idea to let me/us work on it one last time came out of the blue for me. Just to clarify, the star wars collecion and the hole thing around that is not the big issue, but the fact that i have priorated to buy new stuff when we have had other thing to invest in is. And that is just a small issue in the hole perspective, i just wanted to ease up the economy so we should be able to go out for dinner or buy something nice, you get the picture. I can put in all work im able to for this rigth now but im going to her, or home as it was up to last weekend for a chat regarding things around childsupport, when the kids will be with me and so on. I will take a big decititn regarding how i will proceed wiht my life after i know how she is acting tomorrow. I hope i can spend the night and all will pass to my birthday on sunday but my resonable side says that its not possible. Maybe, maybe not. I will let you all know whats happening with everything and just know that i feel the warmth in this community, i really do. Thanks to you all.
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TishomingoSith
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PostSubject: Re: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeTue Oct 16, 2012 10:58 am

Sorry to hear... I know what it's like, having gone through a divorce back in 2005 (seems like forever ago when I type it!).

I was a mess for a few months after my divorce... had 3 year old and 5 year old girls at the time (now 10 & 11!) and the thought of that killed me since I was the stay at home, work at home Dad. It was really hard.

It sounds cliche, but it DOES GET BETTER! It gave me a new chance on life, so to speak. I was able to finish up my last few hours of college that I always told myself I would do, moved into a great house that was all mine (my office was a big man cave Smile ) and didn't have to worry about the $1,500-3,000 shopping sprees anymore! I dated more women from 2005-2009 than I did during the previous 30+ years of my life (and had a lot of fun doing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Since, I've been dating one girl).

But everyone is different, every situation is different. The one thing everyone told me, it does get better and it does. Six 1/2 years later, she begs me back. Nope! No thanks Smile You blew it honey.

Stay busy, don't let yourself get down by watching something that will 'hit' you on TV (or music). Change the station/channel. Get active again, if you weren't before. Focus on your children, focus on you. Hang out with friends and have fun doing it.

It's her loss and it won't bring you down.

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vin3po
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vin3po

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PostSubject: Re: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeTue Oct 16, 2012 6:11 pm

Hey Perra

I know me and you touched on this via Pm , unfortunately I have never been Married , but I have went through some tough break ups
and all I can say is keep your chin up buddy might seem like the end of the world at the moment but as everyone else here has said
time is a great healer , try keep your mind busy and focus yourself on the kids. You never know your wife might just need that break for a while , then she will realise what she is missing ! let her have the space then as John said fight for her and don't let her go if deep down that's what you want !

Thanks

Vince
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A_new_hope
Imperial Lieutenant
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A_new_hope

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PostSubject: Re: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeWed Oct 17, 2012 1:53 am

Thanks for your inputs, its good reading. Update on the situation is, we have filled in all paperwork, i have changed my adress and got myself a temporery apartment. That feels good, my dad is lending me money for new furneteur and kitchensupply. And im having the kids from friday to saturday next week. We are getting along good, she wanted me to come after work monday and spend the night caus she felt bad and lonley so i went. It was the first sleep im my own bed for 2 weeks and also the best sleep sinse then to. I have gotten the time to process this and know we need this time apart but i will not give up, i will be there for her when she needs me and try to get the love back in place caus thats the only logical choice for me right now. When im not with her i feel like im on open sea trambling water just waiting for the sharks to come. I just cant turn around and say thanks for this time and hope you be well inte future and walk away. I simply just cant. Friends tell me to keep away and let her miss me, thats a good taught but in my head thats sounds like im just doing it easier for her to forget me and have more time to meet some one new. If that is what she want that will happen any way but if its not then it might be better to show myself on my best sides and support her as much as she needs. This all is probably a longshot to getting back togther but thats what i want right now and i have to try.

Just to let you know, i have taken the Facebook virginity. So pleas feel free to add me as your friend if you want, Perra Dahl. I have sunglasses and a beard on the picture. The more friends the better right Wink
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Mark_Yeo
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PostSubject: Re: OT: Divorce   OT: Divorce I_icon_minitimeWed Oct 17, 2012 3:44 am

It sounds like you got your head screwed on right and you certainly have brought the right attitude to this trying situation. Its not a good place to be in but it sounds like you are doing your best - its all that counts after all.

My sincere hope that the situation can turn itself around and you get the reconciliation you are looking for.

Cheers,

Mark

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