I wanted to recap TIGGY's (Polish unart bootleg) visit to NJ since 90% of my shots were staged.
Day 1 - Arrival in New Jersey
Well, while it was good to meet the General, I was happy to leave. I couldn't stand another day without a drink.
I was told I was going to some psyber-bloke across the pond. Travel arrangements were made by the General and he spared every expense. It took me nearly 12 days to fly out of Heathrow Space Port to JFK Space Port! In COACH! Thanks for that lovely ride, mate.
So I arrived at the airport, grabbed my carry-on and log book (seriously, why is the log book as big as me anyway?) and started out to get a ride to psyber's home when I ran into these guys.
My family?!?!?!?! What the hell are they doing here? I haven't seen them in years.
They insisted on a group shot.
From left to right:Ronald
(my oddball cousin who abandoned 7 generations of Imperial Gunner service to be a Stormtrooper - man, his pops was pissed!), Reginald
(another cousin - the pompus ass in the family - always dressing up in nice outfits), Iggy
(my twin brother), Me
) and Armstrong
(jackass older brother who always is rubbing it in me and Iggy's face that he got the good SemiArt genes - dick).
They said they are all here to see me and pull some extra overtime working on a new secret battle station Darth Somethingoranother cooked up. Uggghhhhh...... Here we go again. I'll catch up with my family later.
So I hailed a cab and set off to see my new home for the next two weeks.
WTF? No wonder it took almost 12 days to arrive - New Jersey apparently is located on the remote planet Hoth!!!!
I hate the cold and snow. Apparently there is over 18" on the ground - yeah, that's about 25 feet to me! This trip is gonna suck.
Finally inside his place. Not too shabby. But I like the guy already. He handed me a nice bottle of premium, 180 proof Blue Milk and man, look at his TV! Not sure what this Olympics is all about, but he seems to like watching it, especially USA Hockey. USA? Ugly Space Aliens? No clue. I think I would be good at skeleton though.
I purchased a new camera for this trip and plan on taking many photos of whatever we do.
I even learned about something called Flickr where I will be saving all my pictures and outtake shots.
Those pictures are here.
OK, I'm off for now. Long trip and I am exhausted.
Day 2 - Shuttle Lagged
I woke up this morning and I am still exhausted due to the long 11 day Shuttle Lag. It's OK I guess since I got a chance to just relax and get acclimated to this New Jersey place. psybertech had work to do so I watched some TV, surfed the internet and took a nap.
I ventured outside again in the cold and guess what, it was snowing again! This place is horrible.
I managed to climb a mountain to take a look at his back yard and it was actually nice - well, I am sure it is nice when there isn't 2 feet of snow everywhere.
The river you see is called the Passaic River. I think it is known for someone getting thrown off a bridge into it by a member of some member of a Soprano
family at a spot called the "Great Falls" in Patterson, NJ. I am sure there is more, so I will Imperial-Oogle it later.
I did get a ride in his car to pick up some alcohol at the 'beer store' as he called it. A store that just sells boozes, cigarettes and lottery tickets. If they sold guns too, I would be in heaven!
Now, getting into his car, he claimed he built a custom seat for me and then strapped me in with his '2-point harness'. I call bullshit! I say it was his phone/tablet holder and a rubber band!
When we got back I sat back and did some shots of his favorite shot alcohol called Jagermeister, sat back and rank a few beers and I had a look at some of my pictures I took these past 2 days and this one caught my eye.
This is a picture of the crowd at the Space Port when I arrived.
The 4 Stormtroopers in this picture were from my homeland too and were also on my very long flight here. Man, they wouldn't shut up! They were just talking, talking, talking, talking.... and then they occasionally danced in the isle. So annoying. I wanted to open the escape hatch and jump out at times. Man, it was a LONG flight!
I didn't notice this at the time, but Boba Fett is skulking around trying to hide.
Why doesn't anyone tell him he is not stealthy?
He sticks out pretty bad with his stupid rocket pack.
And hiding behind those Blue Stars? Yeah, that is smart!
And what wanted criminal would be flying public Ships or Shuttles waltzing around a public space port? This is not Mos Eisley! Why is he here?
But, here is a little fun fact you may not know: Blue Stars
. You see them there? You know what their role is? They are glorified Mall Cops. That's right!
Most of the Blue Stars troopers can be found guarding the promenade on Space Stations and Space Ports. They think they're soooo cool. Idiots. And those white weapons... STUN GUNS running off a 9 volt battery. LOOK OUT or they may make you tingle when they shoot you!
psybertech promises more fun soon and my family will be coming to take me out when they get back from work. I can't wait! So I need to rest for now.
My Flickr set of pictures of my NJ journey are here.
Day 4 - Party Time!
Yesterday was boring but I caught on some more sleep so I'm not Shuttle Lagged very much.
Just a bit earlier my brothers and cousins stopped over after returning from work to take me and Iggy out for our birthday which passed recently.
We're at this local strip club now that Armstrong is raving about. Apparently a new craze sweeping some select strip clubs is a "Slave Leia" theme. Apparently its very popular where the strippers dress up like Leia when she was Jabba's slave. Sounds good to me!
I wanted to post early before I got too wasted and things get out of control.
As you can see, its pretty crowded in here. There is a huge party of people who flew in from some place called Oklahoma to celebrate something about this bloke named James Chickenshack or something like that
OH and check out that girl on the pole!!! Her name is Candy and she is really, really good on it!
No one knows for sure, but people think that Cantina Dude in the back dressed in yellow with a helmet on is James. He's some sort of recluse and doesn't show his face often. But you got to like a guy that arranges travels of all his friends for a party!
Here's a few quick shots of the crowded club:
That guy on the end is an ass... his buddy keeps trying to restrain him but he just keeps slurring his words and wielding a knife. He keeps going on about something about an old man and pop sickle or swords of light... what a nutter!
There's that James bloke
And here we are chilling out...
Armstrong and Ronald are already getting drunk and loud. Ronald already found a weed dealer and a nice bong. It's going to be a long night!
As you can see, my pickup skills still rock! That's me on the right chatting up Mercedes. She's nice.
Why does she keep asking me if I like Champagne?
A quick selfie of the two of us:
And now I have to go since Armstrong is going to get us kicked out acting like a fool!
I'll post more pictures tomorrow to re-cap the night.Don't forget to check out my album of all my pictures so far HERE!
Day 5 - Surprise, Surprise!
Woke up this morning feeling very hung over. I haven't been that drunk in a while!
From what I remember, I had a great night last night!
After we calmed Armstrong and Ronald down, we had some more drinks and fun and then Armstrong explained to me what this Champagne Mercedes kept talking about was.
She was trying to get me into something called "The Champagne Room
". Back home we call it the Blue Milk Room. It costs you 500 Credits but you get a nice bottle of Champagne (or Blue Milk) and an hour in a private room with a dancer of your choice.
I chose Mercedes to spend my time with since we already were hitting it off nicely and she was the most flexible dancer there that I liked.
Once back there and after I got her to stop pointing at the ceiling and telling me her life story, she was quite a good "dancer
Not bad! I was 'excited' to say the least!
A quick goodbye picture:
So, imagine my surprise this morning when I awoke to this:
As I stood and wondered what happened after that private dance, I found this picture which just adds to my questions:
That is not Mercedes! That's Destiny! I don't remember chatting her up at all. In fact, Iggy was chatting her up the last I saw him.
I wonder where everyone is this morning. I have many questions about a few lost hours last night.
OK, I'm off for now to find my family and I have a dancer to show the door to.Don't forget to check out my album of all my pictures so far HERE!
Day 6 - Idiots
Well, it took a while to track them down, but I found everyone but Ronald.
Reginald left the club early. Shocker. He's not much of a party-guy and a little stiff.
He didn't know where the others got to however.
Eventually I got a call from the Imperial Police to come and collect Armstrong and Iggy.
Apparently they got into a little scuffle with that drunk jackass at the end of the bar which earned them some time in the local jail.
Security footage from the event:
So I spent a good portion of the day filling out paperwork and bailing them out. Man, what a waste of a day.
I am a bit worried about Ronald. No one has heard from in for more than a day.
I'm sure he is fine and just forgot to call.
Well, that's my update for today. psyber promises a little more fun. We'll see.Don't forget to check out my album of all my pictures so far HERE!
[Meanwhile somewhere in NJ.......]
Days 8-11 - Imperial Gunners At Work
Well, I made the mistake of leaving a current address with my Commanding Officer when I got to NJ and because of that, I got a call to report to work for a few days since they were very shorthanded. I met back up with Iggy and Armstrong at this new, top secret space station that Darth NextGuy commissioned.
I was unable to post to my diary due to security precautions after the past 7 Space Stations were destroyed. They now use Stellar Phone jamming technology and do not allow internet access on the station anymore after they realized 4 stations were destroyed when they plans were leaked over Twitter, ImperialGram and ImperialBook alone!!! At least the promenade has lots of shops and bars to pass away hours of time.
I tell you, I like being a gunner, but my employment agreement has this one line at the end that states '.... and any other duties assigned by management'.... well, that just sucks.
I got called back in to help on some really crappy jobs.
Installing some new computers and monitors - yeah, Armstrong showing off because he can swing a hammer:
A quick group shot of us three brothers (I got the cool work belt this time after I somehow pulled off an amazing Scissors in Roshambo over Armstrong's paper - it was quite dramatic):
So after we got that area done, my CO assigned me to some trash compactor cleanup of a failed compactor. These things are notoriously bad at compacting completely.Fun fact:
children on these space stations often play a game called 'Escape from the
Space Station' where they dive head first down trash shoots and try to get out before being squashed. Thankfully we have sensors installed that will stop the walls about 3 feet short if they sense life in it. And ALL compactors generally have at least one Vodranian cephalopod in it so they NEVER fully close.
Iggy snapped this shot of me taking a nap... ass!
As you can see, a gunner's chair, but no gun yet. Don't tell the rebels!
WOOOOO! LONG WAY DOWN! WATCH OUT!
Just kidding! We use this trick to fool our COs to think we have made much more progress building levels.
Its just a painting we do on the lower floor. Shhhhh!
And yeah, fucking Stormtroopers!Fun fact:
Stormtrooper's suits are designed to make #2 come out like soft-server ice cream. Ever sicne that change to make things cleaner, you find soft-serve in the strangest of places. Jerks.
I really hope I get to do something more fun soon. This vacation started great, but work sucks!
psyber promises he will introduce me to his ladies and maybe a trip to one of his regular bars.
We'll see. I hear there is another foot of snow coming so I doubt he will come through before I have to leave again.
............ I'm beat so I am off to bed!Don't forget to check out my album of all my pictures so far HERE!
Day 12 - Memories
My time seems to be winding down here at psybertech's place. Time seems to have went by very fast on this trip.
A few things to finish up before I leave and the most important one is locating Ronald.
It has been a week and no one has heard from him.
I am officially worried now. I reported it to the Imperial Police and placed signs out all around the area.
I received a few calls but so far no solid leads.
At this point all I can do is wait and hope for the best.
So, I started to organize my stuff and went back through some more pictures I have taken and that were sent to me.
I have to say, I have some moments that I could not remember, so I am happy that there are so many pictures around of my trip here.
They help remember some things, but unfortunately I can't remember all the details but I know I had fun.
My room again with a crappy TV that just got static. Thankfully I had my laptop to watch
some TV and movies.
Me outside Wuher's Go Go Rama strip club at the famous Slave Leia statue:
I got yelled at for climbing her apparently.
I got into a fight with some Ninjas at some point and psyber froze them and encased them in some cylinders. More proof he is a cloner.
A group shot of some of the work crew on the space station.
Some odd ducks in that crew for sure.
This part of my trip is a little foggy. All I remember is there was some bachelorette party we stumbled across with some Mego chicks who were convinced they were from the 25th Century! Nutters!! But man, they were a wild bunch!
I hooked up with this hotty named Ardella.
She was a nice lady! She will make her fiancee a lovely bride. Good luck with her, Buck!
But man, this chick, Wild Wilma, was AWESOME!!! She was a freak in bed!
It wasn't all fun. I had my work detail for a few days on the space station and then psyber insisted I had to pitch in around his house so I had to sort his recyclables. Man, he drinks a lot!
Well, I have a little more time left here. Not sure what the plans are but I hope it involves drinking. When I visit Chris_J, I don't know if he will be like Alex and not allow me to drink or party much. So I will be drunk as much as possible between now and my Shuttle trip to him.
Off for now............Don't forget to check out my album of all my pictures so far HERE!
Day 14 - Hooters!
As I sit waiting to make my travel arrangements to my next stop, I realized I haven't posted pictures of my night out at Hooters with psyber.
All the girls were very nice and let me take some photos with them.
Sophia and Sam were very cool. Sam said she likes Star Wars and that she dressed up as Princess Leia once. I would have liked to see her in that outfit too!
As much as I asked, they wouldn't let me pose anywhere else I wanted to. They actually told me its because I was beat up and dirty and didn't know where I might have been (hahahaha, Mrs. Khan!).
But I know if I decided to borrow Reginald's shiny Kenner made gunner suit, surely they would have said yes. I think they may have been bootlegists or something.
Well, I think that's it for now.
I'll post once my travel plans are finalized for my next trip and post a goodbye picture.Don't forget to check out my album of all my pictures so far HERE!
Day ?? - Farewell
Well, I took a nap while my travel arrangements were being made and see that I am off to an OK state to visit Ryan. I hope to visit Chris soon since I think he and I will drink a lot!
I do think Ryan and I will hit it off well since he is a Sith... well, as long as he isn't a hard ass and allows me to party a bit.
I begged psybertech to book my travel in anything better than coach this time after my long and crappy ridef from the General's place, I really didn't want a repeat.
I jokingly asked him to send me First Class and he laughed saying he would do one better and send me Priority! This sounds great to me!
OK... no fanfare at the airport from my family who have long since left - still no word from Ronald.
Handing my ticket over to the ticket lady:
And, oh crap... this is priority? A freakin box?!?!?!?! I've been suckered!
damn you psyberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Well, at least the lady who packed me up was pretty.
Off to OK I go.
I'll report back of my travels and exploits from Ryan's soon.
cheers!Don't forget to check out my album of all my pictures so far HERE!
Yes, I realize not all the shots were dioramas.........
Still, I hope you smiled!